

Eventually they stop running into the nearest fence–perhaps, driven by the madness of guilt–and the female I save lets me pleasure her both orally, anally, and vaginally. The pygmies started disappearing and reappearing, like some nightmare that refuses to let me rest. So I grabbed a bone, beat the pygmies, but then something very strange happened. The first moment that I knew I was playing a masterpiece was when my Redneck Jewish cousin Uzi gave me the task of protecting his fellow trailer inhibitors from being raped by a gang of pygmies. It makes one wonder, is this video gaming’s Birth of a Nation ? Mormons and Native Americans aren’t just represented in Bonetown, but accurately depicted. Do you take the shrooms and hammer on the left mouse click button or go with the toad and hammer on the right mouse button? Don’t worry, most likely you’ll end up exploring all options soon enough if you feel anywhere near as compelled as I did to revisit Bonetown upon my initial playthrough. Each item has a different effect on the player that opens up a new layer of possibilities within the game’s minimalistic, yet impeccable combat system.
NEW GAMES LIKE BONETOWN CRACK
In Bonetown, the player can smoke weed, drink whiskey, lick psychedelic toads, toke on a crack pipe, and eat shrooms. Additionally, the game doesn’t shy away from habitual drug use, something we all know is good for us but for some reason other developers shy away from. You don’t just passively observe misfortune, finally we have game that lets you lend a hand and/or boning. As opposed to rabidly racist games like Modern Warefare 2 (with it’s controversial Airport scene–AMERICANS WOULD NEVER DO THAT!), Bonetown lets the player explore a world of the lower class, under-privileged souls. While the meat and bones of title relies on the tense love-making scenes that require a masterful sense of filling a bar with button presses until it’s full, you’ll often be lost in the world and fighting for your life and love.

It’s simply sublime game design we rarely see in the age of Activision cranking out a new war every year in spite of our troops defending our freedoms over seas–Bonetown begs the question to be asked, “Isn’t it time we see some loving in our games?” Those blacks have afros, the orientals speak woefully, and the Caucasians-type represents the ideal, perfect lifeform. I’ve never experienced a game that has each ethnic group so accurately depicted. For the time being, your avatar in Bonetown is customized to your race. I’m sure D-Dub would have given Mario the pleasure of boning done on Bonetown’s vast array of morbidly obese and crack-addicted lovelies, but we are talking about an indie developer that has little hope of obtaining that iconic avatar from the far less imaginative hands of Nintendo. Yikes, I’m jumping ahead! As you can imagine, there is so much to discuss that I can’t keep my enthusiasm for all equally well executed elements of the game to burst forth like the beautifully rendered ejaculate that the player has the pleasure of dispersing throughout the game–recalling a similar “game-feel” from the much underrated Super Mario Sunshine. Vagina? Check! Asshole? Assolutely! Watering mouth hole? Why not! The game confirms what we’ve always known as gamers but have never been able to experience: manipulating women is easy as a click of a button when you’re a black dude with a 12-inch hard on.īonetown features cartoonish depictions of Native reservations, Hispanic slums, and trailer parks that bring some much needed levity.
NEW GAMES LIKE BONETOWN FULL
More recently, Pandemic Studios revealed the possibilities of boob DLC, but D-Dub leap frog a couple years and give the player the full package. Up into this point in gaming we have only seen a “side boob” courtesy of the visionaries at Quantic Dream and Bioware. Even better, you get to bone with them!Īfter waking up on a beach, resembling that iconic epilogue of 2001’s Ico, the player finds himself at the whim of a succulent, hourglass shaped Cindy. The game lets you befriend pygmies, Native Americans, Mormons, and Mexicans.

Bonetown is far from a self-serving bump-n-grind, as it encompasses a large world full of diverse characters who represent America’s minorities that are rarely featured in video games.

NEW GAMES LIKE BONETOWN SOFTWARE
I know I’ve had my troubles (haven’t we all?) With Bonetown, D-Dub Software aim to make a game about your balls, at least the game’s opening monologue tells you as much. Three top investment pros open up about what it takes to get your video game funded.įor too long gamers have had to juggle masturbation and gaming–in this hectic economy, it’s simply too big of a risk to jerk at work.
